stretched out don't worry I'm not gonna
make you get up or request that you get
up home so hello thanks for sticking
around for for the second half of this
that was awesome like having felt this
stretched in a while okay so for those
of you who don't know me me BS me who's
this I'm JD I've been a Drupal PHP
developer for about six years I've been
doing HTML since the 90s I am one of the
mid camp organisers without a year
helped organize a Drupal Chicago meetup
and before this I was a paramedic and
EMT and a firefighter for about 10 years
also in case you've never spoken to me I
have mental illnesses um
and I'm here to talk to you about mental
health and wellness in tech primarily
gonna be focusing on people who work for
me leave but you know it can be
translated into a lot of in office tech
things so I'm Drupal technical architect
at genuine if you want to tweet at me JD
does Deb I'm on all the slack says Dorf
in case you missed the signs on your way
in this is mid camp and if you're gonna
tweet hashtag make camp and just to show
osmium love hashtag Azmi I'd appreciate
it does anybody in here and know what
asthma is or not know what does me is
you know what that was a really odd way
to freeze it wasn't it good night
everybody Therese begins well for that
so we're gonna start off with a few
disclaimers the one I'm not a doctor
I'm not a mental health professional I'm
not here to give medical advice I'm just
here to tell my story I'm someone with
mental illnesses plural and I've had
some work with our difficulties in the
workplace and my personal life because
of it and a lot of it come came from
trying to figure out how to work
remotely it was difficult to go from
working everyday in an office and then
before that I was working 24 hours at a
time on a shift every third day and
before that I don't remember because I
was
wait wait wait too long ago oh lovely
thing it's okay the left it's okay to
laugh as long as you're not laughing to
be insulting as long as you're not
laughing at somebody but this this is
part of why I do this talk is to erase
the stigma around it and part of it
everything that Sigma is you know not be
afraid to talk about it and not be
afraid to laugh when something's funny
also there may be some knotty language
so I apologize ahead of time I tend to
swear sometimes without thinking about
it so it's just a heads up
um why do I do this talk well remote
work is hard for some people some people
can do it discreet some people can say
yes I'm working from home
everything is sunshine and rainbows it
wasn't like that for me but it's also a
better option for a lot of people so I I
live in Indiana my office is in Chicago
and we have an office in Boston I don't
have to commute every day I come in
maybe once a week so I have a nice
hybrid schedule it's great if I were to
look for my kind of job in Indiana where
I live
it wouldn't happen if remote wasn't an
option I'd probably still be on the
ambulance I probably never would have
found my way into this field
so works great in office work though if
you're introverted like I am it's it can
be really difficult because there's not
a lot of recharge time if you're in an
open office environment especially when
there's absolutely no no place to get
away then you can't have that time to
yourself where you just say I people do
much please just leave me be
and I want people who are going for this
to know you're not the only one going
through this I still have a really hard
time dealing with us back but you're not
the only one going through this if you
are and also needs to be talked about
you know conversation needs to happen
that get said part the stigma around
mental illness is being afraid to talk
about it
but don't be and all of you are here
you're taking the right steps even if
you don't have mental illness yourself
thank you so give yourselves a round of
applause please just just break up
seriously thank you thanks that was a
much needed drink break um okay so why
should you care about this um it's a big
number twenty percent of adults in the
u.s. exposure experience mental illness
in the given year and in the tech
community it's a bit higher than that
why does it matter to me um I have
mental illness in case you haven't been
listening for the last five minutes I
have mental illness but I was in denial
for a long time suffering in silence I
also was a victim of this stigma but now
I'm working to get rid of because I
thought it meant somebody was damaged or
weak or different and I worried if I
told people how I was feeling you know
even so much as my doctor dad
oh they're coming to take you away you
know it used to be made that was the
laughing insulting versus laughing
because something is actually funny
without burning people Oh something I
need to tell myself and I tell myself a
lot I'm not weak I'm sick it's an
illness it's not a defect it's a disease
so you're gonna learn a lot about me so
I want to learn a little bit all about
you I see a few familiar faces but
there's some people I don't really know
too much about so how many of you are
actually work with the sites or the tech
itself developers theme or site builders
bla bla bla down the list pretty good
portion yeah almost everybody are any of
you project managers project owners
account managers anything like that yeah
so bring a couple heads that's yeah is
anybody in HR yes
no hands went up um anybody in upper
management and that could be you only a
single person shop where you are all of
the above anybody see one hand go up
okay
how many of you work remotely like 100%
we don't okay so say about half the room
how many of you are 100% in the office
take a a couple hands going up and how
many of you work at hybrid type of
schedule where you can do a few basil
from home few days from office ok all
right so it's a good mix only and that's
good I mean that's what we're here to
talk about we're also here to talk about
what is mental illness well it's a lot
of things has anybody ever seen a copy
of the DSM 4 yeah a few hands going up
it's about this thick and it has
criteria defining mental illness you
know down to if you experience x4y a
period of time resulting in Z then you
have beta so there's a lot of criteria
and they revised it pretty frequently
yet they might even be on dsm-5 I should
really look that up but there are
different types like I said a lot in the
DSM 4 or 5 so me personally I have major
depression I have anxiety disorder I
have PTSD I have ADHD and I'm one away
from bingo um
and a lot of these you know they stacked
upon each other they lead to one another
you know the ADHD could have some
relationship to the PTSD happening
during my childhood anxiety related to
that depression because I've got all the
above um you know what are those though
like I said DSM for a lot of words the
very very distilled version depression
is a depressed mood most of the day
particularly in the morning sometimes uh
that are present every day for two weeks
or more at least two weeks
anxiety is feelings of worry anxiety or
fear that interfere with your daily
activities PTSD is characterized by
failure to recover after witnessing or
experiencing a terrifying event
something that sticks with you
let psychologists that I went to had a
very good analogy for it you know
they'll work with computers we
understand the difference between
storage and the RAM where the RAM is
more of your circuit or short-term
memory that your CPU can just grab the
stuff kick it back and forth the storage
is where everything lives your long-term
memory now what happens with PTSD is
your event gets stuck in the RAM it
doesn't move back it doesn't get put
back into storage and anything
resembling what happened in that event
can just remind you of it make you
really relive that experience because
it's just right there so quick and adhe
it's characterized by varying degrees of
hyperactivity impulsivity and or
inattention that lead to difficulty
specifically in the workplace or in
school when I was a kid this was looked
at as being a bit off just a strange kid
don't just need to go burn off some
energy but and no I didn't get diagnosed
with it until about a year ago official
somebody says hey I think you have this
so life before getting treatment and
getting checked out and getting all all
those letters attest to me it was
difficult I was afraid I was paranoid
about everything social situations were
absolutely paralyzing I canceled plans
all the time just let me alone because I
canceled plans and made myself onto a
self-imposed isolation I was angry for
so many reasons for that
oh when I was on a high-stress job I was
on an ambulance - I had untreated
anxiety and depression they didn't even
know had labels and three I was in one
of those careers where if you say I have
something then you know it makes you
become it's you different you treat the
people who have that you don't have that
yourself
as misunderstood because people often
thought I was just a that I was angry
when I was just trying not to myself you
know did that you're in the headlights
look and apparently if I might deer in
the headlights look is the same as I'm
gonna get you look which really that's
never going through my head but I did
finally accept something that's wrong
and this is hard for a lot of people you
know people don't get I notice that
people don't get as upset or angry about
things as I do and I kind of started
thinking about it and it was one of the
situations where if everywhere you go
smells like dog shit
maybe check your shoes um so this was
the hardest part for me but I got
treatment I I do a lot of things
including taking medication helps me
through and I start the conversation I
talk about it I'm not afraid to talk
about it I don't mind talking about it
if you have questions ask me about it
I'm no longer ashamed of what I have
obviously I do have peaks and valleys
still but neither are too high or too
low there would be periods of time when
I'd have the really high valleys that I
could basically do anything for a very
short period of time but the the the
other side of that was I have valleys
where I could do nothing for a very long
period of time so now I'm kind of more
level and I can do most things for most
of the time
my name's ID isn't quite as big it still
shows up but not quite as bad I'm more
comfortable with social situations
obviously standing up here
I'm still pretty introverted so after
camp I'm probably going to disappear
into a hole for a few days and try to
recover but I don't have nearly as many
anxiety attacks still happens still
seriously scared the hell out of me
but not as bad as it used to be also I
realized we're not alone um you know I I
was afraid to get treatment because I
was afraid of the way people would view
me because I felt I was the only one but
I'm not
we're not alone so these all post some
challenges to remote work and
development Joneses are working alone as
someone with mental illness so
remote and hybrid working even an office
working offers a new set of challenges
to people who aren't used to that so for
those of you who work remotely or even
hybrid what are some of the challenges
you face isolation ok yeah also a
solution so mister isolation definitely
a lot I think I mean part of that
isolation it's like you're just kind of
standing here right exactly so I I came
up with my own list because I didn't
know all of you most most of you about
honestly a few of the same things I'm
glad we're on the same page here
communication I don't know about all of
you but working remotely most of my
communication is text-based the voice
inside my head reading that text-based
communication often doesn't sound like
the voice that they are trying to convey
have you ever gotten a message from a
co-worker
something along these lines
how do you read that for me I read that
as a nasty hey idiot
why the hell did you verbal the Norfleet
like that when in reality after a little
clarifications like hey it's interesting
I never saw it done like this why did
you do it like that or what led you to
this decision they could be anything in
there so but the way my mind works is
why dude why Evan text based
communication is hard and especially
with remote work it's difficult to build
a rapport with your coworkers if you
never get face time it's really hard to
say hey I know you
we had that that good time another one
that I heard thrown out there was
isolation it's very very easier to feel
alone it's very very easy to make
yourself alone it's also very very easy
to start talking to animals and it's
even worse when they start talking back
this is my cat Parker he sounds like
lieutenant commander Worf from Star Trek
next generation and most of the time
he's just telling me human I require
food um one thing that I found I find is
guilt because I work remotely I feel
guilty when I have to take time off for
sickness for for no PTO for anything
that's not work-related I feel guilty
and it's really easy to forget that
you're not alone on a team even though
you're not sitting with them there are
other people in your team usually I
can't say all the time if you're a shop
of one that poses its own set of
problems but usually there are people
who can pick up if you need to take a
day off no deadline is worth your health
no deadline is worth you I'm suffering
through and especially working from home
if you don't get out of the house it's
hard to disconnect from that work my
mindset
I heard distractions get off the couch
do you work or play Mario you're
wherever you're working from happens to
be right across the bath from the
bathroom no if you have your water when
you're going there and back you see oh
the switch is still on let's let's do a
round and next thing you know three
hours and uh Mario Kart Oh cramp
I missed three calls we have enough we
got a catch-up worker do the dishes you
know it's hard when you're at home to
not just say well crap I need to get
this stuff done what are we going to do
or do chores have to be done I won't
have time later you want time later I
need to do it now or work or anything
but work you will find an excuse or you
could find an excuse to do anything but
sit in front and do it needs to be done
you can also lead to a sedentary
lifestyle which can be kind of uh fixed
by following Abby's advice from about
ten minutes ago you know in theory not
having to put pants on to go to work
sounds great until you realize that you
also have a shower door you haven't
brushed your teeth and you know you're
not taking care of yourself at what you
should be doing and
eventually you get to a point where your
cat just isn't having it and he tells
you human
shower and feed me um and you don't have
a reason to get out of the house
so you're not active again see obvious
talk for me ten minutes ago so how did I
the boy distinctly an isolated existence
a lot of trial and error
my second deaf job was fully remote
office was in Colorado I went out there
maybe three times it was a complete
culture shock for me
I didn't figure out a lot of these
things uh for a long time after starting
there and this can be used for in office
as well and here are some things that
work for me
I'm not saying everything is going to
work for everybody in the room but I
also have a couple suggestions for
people who have to be in office as well
a sedentary lifestyle create a routine
to at least simulate going to work get
up get out of bed take a shower brush
your teeth get dressed you know it
doesn't have to be full business attire
but at least put on some clothes that
gets you in the right frame of mind it
makes you feel like you're going to work
if you're in the office get away from
your desk do the stretches stand up no
don't eat lunch at your desk every day
Oh distractions if you're home space
allows or where you're working from set
a dedicated workspace someplace that
people know you know any of your
cohabitate errs they know that you do
not distract me when I'm here oh and
make sure you they know and understand
that you are working you're not just
hanging out you're not playing video
games some people I've heard put up and
something to signify work mode
you know headphone rule if I'm wearing
these headphones you don't talk to me I
don't exist
a light bulb kind of like an on-air sign
from
a recording studio just red lights on
leave me alone
if all those fails you can lock a door
or give it a disapproving stare anytime
that somebody tries to talk to you in
office you can use that headphone rule I
mean it may take some time to get some
of your non-technical co-workers to
understand that headphones on you know
if you need me slack me if you need me
then I'll answer if I'm not doing
something but I'm working and if you're
getting ready to go ahead heads down
give your co-workers a heads up hey you
know if I don't answer this is why
guilt this was a really big one for me
just because you can work remotely and
work from home doesn't mean you have to
be working all the time
you could put the laptop down you could
close it and when you need time off take
it your company will understand that's
why you have sick time and PTO and when
you do take time off take them off put
the laptop down you're at that time
you're being paid to not work um get
your work done but don't compare your
own speed or volume to others so you
know there's always going to put people
better than you who can code faster or
do more or smarter at some things
there's always going to be people who
are slower coders than you that doesn't
mean they're in here and I I'm sorry I
said the wrong word there I didn't mean
better people who have strengths in
different areas of video it's not
necessarily better whereas people have
different strengths and they may go at a
different velocity than you know so
don't compare yourself to them for those
of you who are not in office again don't
compare yourselves to others just
because you see somebody I don't know if
any of you have psyche channels or
anything to have get commit messages
that just pop up and you've got somebody
who is committed commit commit commit
and but when you look into it it's like
edit period remove the white space
remove white space on each one of those
oh so you know don't compare yourself to
others and it's okay to leave on time
fire drills aside if your client sites
down and you know you have to file a
critical ticket maybe you put on well
extra time but aside from that it's okay
isolation use your team's tools how many
of you have slack at work
how many of you have teams Microsoft
teams anybody have a well instant
messenger ICQ Skype and anybody have a
phone yeah everybody has a phone so use
that communication
nobody needs to be on an island and find
the time to make human contact one thing
that I found is really interesting
sometimes I need to be around people
just to ignore me just to see people and
know other people live but I don't need
to talk to them it's great you can
volunteer for things or join a club or
do something to get you out of the house
um you can also work from a local
independent coffee shop if you live
around my part of Indiana I can
recommend a good one um when you're in
office and you're not in heads-down mode
get to know your co-workers a little bit
say hi how was your day I mean you know
it's kind of a joke the office small
talk but you're at least building that
relationship with somebody how was your
weekend where do you get new employees
in there and new people say hi introduce
yourself I mean as somebody who's
extremely introverted I know how
difficult this could be because I I
still you know headphones on I hope
nobody sees me but take the point out
where I work now the first day in in
office in Boston they make you bring on
cookies and you set it at your desk so
everybody comes in and takes a cookie
and says hi good to meet you and I think
that's a really cool cool idea and at
least if it gets you out of your comfort
zone a little bit to a point where you
get to know who you're working with and
they get to know you a bit
and if these aren't options join
communities and they don't have to be
like in person communities just places
you can talk I'm on a now it's a discord
team front end of front-end developer to
sport team which has seven thousand
users but there are a few of us who are
really active and we've become friends
on that just you know throughout the day
hey I've got an idea or hey don't for
this just need somebody to talk to you
local user groups lacks like the mid
camp slack it's a great one
so I've heard um and a lot of local user
groups and all have their own slacks in
Chicago we've got the PHP user group
we've got web friends I think is wine
and Chicago tech there's a bunch of them
so there's there's always communities
you can communicate people with people
communication like I said before user
teams tools and find time for FaceTime
this is really important going back to
that slide with the barco worker asking
you why you inner filled the GAR flak
you don't understand what that voice is
saying hey can we hop on a call and talk
about this maybe you'll figure out
what's going on and the scheduled
check-ins with somebody okay
yeah I know I'm remote I know during
office we work on these projects
together let's talk let's find 15
minutes let's call it a stand up
developers stand up whatever and we'll
just go over issues we're having um then
talk over an issue instead of chatting
about it
I mean by that is pick up the phone hit
the call button on whatever your your
chat thing is if you have Skype and
don't be afraid to ask questions about
meaning and I found myself doing this a
few times because I know the way I read
things is always in the most negative
way possible so I will preface a lot of
things that I say hey I do not mean this
as a jerk so please don't take it as a
jerk but why are you doing this and
everybody that I do that to the first
not a jerk question second here's why um
and if you're in office and you have the
opportunity take the conversations I'll
find some time you know instead of
cycling back and forth whatever to say
hi hey you know let's talk out this
problem why you come over to my desk and
we'll work through it together
so what's mental health got to do got to
do with it
well again Azmi open-sourcing mental
illness does a survey yearly this is the
data from 2017 survey
for people in tech it was open to
anybody who want to answer in tech it
was made available to several people so
the question is have you been diagnosed
with a mental health condition the
average in the u.s. is about 20
that's diagnosed in the general
population yes for tech diagnosis is 42
percent pretty high number now the next
one is interesting because to me it goes
with that stigma the the fear of being
labeled do you think you have a mental
health condition and this includes those
yes diagnosed I think because I've been
told I do yes 43 possibly 19 in case you
can't read that that's over half over
half of the tech community who answered
this thinks that they do and 43% have
been diagnosed with it that's a lot you
know those of us who've been alumnist we
handle things very differently and a lot
of us have a hard time breaking out the
isolation because it's comfortable or at
least it seems that way because you know
we know ourselves and we're fine with
that but anxiety plus text-based
communication equals a lot of ocean
moments of what do they mean by that
what did I mean by that you went over
ah
we're afraid that taking time to
ourselves will have Navy consequences
you know a lot of people say yeah sure
I'll get it done at half day and a half
day it's really 16 hours that started at
noon ended at midnight and they're
showing back up and you know now there's
no personal time for them um we're
afraid that saying no to something or
not completing in time for work of
exchange your opinions your boss will
say you know what you're you're useless
you know what's taking you so long and
if you have anxiety bring what people
think about you can really really be
frustrating and like me go straight to
the worst-case scenario you know when
you're for the GAR flack you're an idiot
and you're gonna be fired for it because
it broke everything like I said almost
illness and 2015 and why should I secure
it because it's expensive forty four
billion dollars annually
two hundred million lost work hours and
that's not PTO time that's people who
just sit and I can't work I can't work I
can't do this I can't I can't function
just and they lie on their timesheets or
they'll just try to get through that's a
lot of money so how can it work please
help make sure that the lines of
communication are open management and
this is one thing that make us a my my
company does that I think is really
great I have a scheduled check-in every
two weeks with my boss one on one for F
our talk about whatever we need to talk
about it's I think it's amazing
I'll be more inclusive if you are a
hybrid company and you have some remote
workers and understand mental illness
concerns and how to accommodate which
this is very difficult because someone
with a mental illness may not want to
disclose and if you someone with the
mental illness does not disclose then
they're not covered by the ad a if you
say I have a disability immediately
you get coverage from that you are
protected under the ad a if a workplace
is prepared and educated to deal with a
disability an employee may feel more
comfortable about taking time off they
won't they won't sit there for hours on
end pretending to do work filling out
the time teeth and do nothing um no I
would have times when I'd show up log in
do nothing for days but still all the
time
because I was afraid of going to my boss
because I was afraid of what they'd say
and I ended up you know leaving that
place because I wasn't comfortable with
the way they handled it but if I would
have just said hey I need a day I need
an afternoon recharge for four hours
recharge for eight hours suddenly I have
you know thirty-two billable hours more
than what I'm lying about so you can
work remotely and not end up like my
grumpy cat burger one thing I do ask if
if you have the time
survey Azmi help that or research it
really helps us at as me decide where to
put our efforts and get get the
statistics that we can use on our talks
um yeah Azmi handbooks there are three
of them and somebody actually was
talking to me yesterday and said that
they had an issue in their workplace and
they bought the handbooks and it really
helped them deal with it because you
know it outlines for mental health
wellness in the workplace guidelines for
executives and HR and guidelines for
employees and it's all based on the ATA
and you know it's looked over by some
lawyers and I mean obviously hire your
own counsel don't go off of what we're
selling but you know it was a good
starting point to know what you can and
can't do if you have time take the Azmi
survey I think we're up to the 2019 one
Oz may help that or assess research and
also if you have time please take the
survey it's about 20 minutes but it
really helps us out so you know Jenna
close out I'm sorry I'm going over a
little bit but you know an open-source
tech communities are greatest resource
look at this everybody here mid camp and
all these things it's amazing and it
reminds us that we're not alone and that
we're not just using names he's ah be
he's not just for a boy he's obviously
not big Dwayne it's Dwayne and you know
we're people and that's what help what
these events help remind us of and so
getting the space time this is this is
great thank you all for coming to mid
camp so you know this is what I'm doing
to help erase a stigma so thank you for
listening couple of resources I always
put up if there's as me helped org
there's also forms on there that are
kind of not quite and anonymous but
enough where there's a lot of people who
will say hey I'm having this issue and
then you know get some feedback from
other people in the community if you are
looking for a therapist couple resources
here 100 therapists or psychology today
calm psychology today calm is really
good because the magazine side of it is
a Drupal site and because the search
function will let you narrow it down to
what kind of therapist you're looking
for and what special kids maybe they
they specialize in PTSD or they do EMDR
or something that you you think would
really benefit you there's also the
suicide lifeline and a number for
National Association of mental illness
so I know I went over I wanted you all
for hanging out for the extra five
minutes thank you so much for listening
and thanks for coming in mid camera
do you have any questions I'll be around
but I'm not going to take up this room
any longer than we already have
thank you